Sneak Peeks

Chapter 1

Liz couldn’t believe she was taking Marilyn’s advice. While she loved her to death, Marilyn had that knack for lying when telling the truth would have been easier. It probably had come in handy when she worked at Miss Mona’s Catty Shack in Las Vegas. She still didn’t know what job Marilyn had held there, but she could guess. Marilyn had the ability to turn men into putty in her hands. Miss Mona’s place would make the news every couple of months when someone famous would get photographed leaving the place or dying in a prostitute’s bed. One had to wonder why anyone famous would decide that was the brothel to choose.

“So, are you okay?” Marilyn asked. She was worried that Liz would be upset today, the day her divorce became final.

“Believe it or not, I’m fine. I know this is for the best. I don’t want Sam to think how she and I have been treated is ok, because it wasn’t. He cheated on both of us. We could have been a great little family, but he has decided we weren’t worth the effort. I did my part and then some. His loss,” Liz said. Sam is Liz’s sixteen-year-old daughter.

“You did way more than I would have done. I probably would have tied a part of his anatomy into a pretzel,” Marilyn said quite believably.

Marilyn then glanced at Liz to see if Liz’s body language matched what she was saying. She thought it did. Liz had gone through a phase where she felt that everything could be better if she tried even harder than she already was. Liz, an oculoplastic surgeon, and her husband, Adam, had tried marriage counseling. Mr. Miller, the counselor, told her upfront that her husband was a narcissist and that he was utterly incapable of being a good husband. He told her he would always cheat, and the only thing that might improve would be that he might get better at hiding his cheating. It didn’t sound promising to Liz, but Liz was no quitter. So, she decided to do everything even better than she was already doing. Liz was already slim but rode her horse, Max, a little longer to tone up more. She started cooking more complex recipes. She planned several vacations solely around what she thought Adam would enjoy. He was his usual self: boring, critical, and unenergetic, which brought her to her next step. She researched supplements that would give him more energy and improve his mood. She tried to help him make some friends since he had none. She encouraged him to find a hobby. To Adam’s credit, he tried making bullets and cheese. He even bought some wood and a jigsaw, which he never used.

So tonight, Liz was going on her first date after her divorce. Marilyn told her to be at Casa Guajardo’s Mexican restaurant in San Antonio at seven. She gave Liz further instructions to ask for Ryan Hall at the check-in.

“What are you going to wear?” Marilyn inquired.

“What I have on,” Liz replied.

“Nope!” Marilyn informed her as she carefully pulled an orange off-shoulder dress from a shopping bag from a very expensive boutique.

“That is too sexy. I don’t want him to think I’m easy,” Liz explained.

“No one will EVER think you are too easy. Try it on!”

“Okay. It’s really pretty,” Liz said, admiring the dress.

Liz closed the office door and removed her dark gray slacks and light gray silky blouse. She slipped on the dress and even twirled around in it. The dress had beautiful movement, like a flamenco dress.

“Liz, you look fantastic!”

“I love it, but I don’t have the right shoes. My black loafers won’t look right, and I don’t have time to run home.”

Marilyn pulled a pair of pale gold strappy sandals out of the boutique shopping bag like Mary Poppins pulling a lamp out of her carpet bag.

“You are good!” Liz said with a laugh.

“So, I’ve been told.”

Marilyn pulled a cute summer purse and dangly earrings from the same shopping bag.

Liz was perplexed by how Marilyn had accomplished all of this but was very grateful.

“You are right, and I needed to change. I looked stupid. I stopped buying clothes when I was sad. All I wear is gray – dark gray, light gray, charcoal gray, heather gray, steel gray, gray, gray, gray, gray!” Liz lamented.

“I know how you like bargain shopping. I got all of this on sale,” Marilyn lied. She knew the next thing Liz would do was feel like she couldn’t accept this gift.

“I need to pay you for it!” Liz said predictably.

“Nope! It’s from all of us- Natalie, Pam, Brooke, Renay, and me. You will hurt all our feelings if you don’t accept it! I know you don’t want to do that.”

Liz started to tear up. She was used to helping everyone else and was uncomfortable when she had to rely on her friends. The last couple of years had been hard on her.

“Don’t you dare cry because I will cry, and then we will ruin our make-up! Speaking of make-up, let me touch up yours,” Marilyn said, motioning for Liz to sit in the chair next to the window. She pulled Liz’s make-up out of the same bag.

“How did you get my make-up? Let me guess. You got it from Bobby. I’m surprised he would get it for you once you told him I was going out on my first date.”

“That’s why I didn’t tell him that. I told him you had a viewing tonight.”

“Who died?”

“One of your patients.”

Liz looked like she was going to cry.

“Liz! Don’t look sad. It didn’t really happen,” Marilyn told her.

“I was just thinking about something else.”

“Don’t you dare think about that slime, that maggot, that loser!”

“I wasn’t thinking about Adam! I was thinking about Bobby. I wish he had someone special.”

“That’s who I meant,” Marilyn lied. “It would be so strange if he met someone.”

“Sam wanted to fix him up with Pippi Longstocking when she was little,” Liz reminisced. Sam was fascinated with the children’s book character when she was small.

“Now, that would be a good match! She wouldn’t put up with his shit. She would hold him over her head and put him out with the trash when he acted up. I don’t think I can see him with that monkey she has, and she isn’t a great cook. All she makes is pancakes. But at least she’s rich, so he would know she liked him, not his money!” Marilyn explained in great detail. She obviously had read the books also.

Marilyn finished touching up Liz’s makeup and even added some false eyelashes to the outside corner of Liz’s eyes.

“You look great!”

“Thanks, I feel so much better! I will call you later and let you know how it goes. How do you know him again?”

“A friend of a friend. He won’t know me, but I trust my friend,” Marilyn effortlessly lied.

Liz hugged Marilyn and left. Tonight was Marilyn’s night to work on Liz and Bobby’s office computers. Marilyn worked at Bobby and Liz’s medical practice part of the week, ensuring everything ran smoothly.

Liz confidently walked into Casa Guajardo’s Mexican Restaurant and asked for Ryan Hall.

Ryan was intently watching the baseball game in the bar. When she introduced herself, he didn’t even look at Liz and started yelling at the TV. He asked the waiter to sit them at a table where he could still see the monitor.

He didn’t tell her it was nice to meet her. He did ask her what her favorite baseball team was. She told him she didn’t have one but occasionally went to the Spurs basketball games. He said that he liked the Spurs, too. Then she noticed he had an old Spurs jersey on for Tony Parker. She thought it was strange attire for a first date. He made no more effort to converse with Liz. He yelled across the room to the waiter, ordered another Coors Light, and didn’t even bother to see if Liz wanted anything. He told her to hush when she tried talking to him because it was the bottom of the ninth. During a commercial break, Liz asked him where the Ladies’ room was, and he gestured, but instead, she got up and walked out the door. Liz didn’t want to be a sports widow or a babysitter for an ill-mannered man, so she heeded the red flags waving in her face and hoped tomorrow’s date would be better. Marilyn had fixed her up with dates Monday through Thursday for drinks and appetizers while Sam, Liz’s teenage daughter, had her first after-school job.

She called Marilyn as soon as she got to her SUV. “Next!” Liz told her.

“Good girl, you passed the test!” Marilyn lied.

Chapter 2

“I love the dress!” Natalie, one of Liz’s closest friends who happened to be a real estate attorney, told Liz as soon as she walked up to her. The girls were all meeting for drinks at a new restaurant in New Braunfels.

“Thanks! It’s the one you all got me! I really appreciate it!” Liz told a suddenly perplexed Natalie.

“Wow! Divorce agrees with you!” Brooke said and gave her a big hug. Brooke’s ex-husband was a doctor with a reputation for not treating his peers, patients, wife, or kids properly. She had recently divorced him, to everyone’s relief.

“It’s the dress you all got me. Thank you so much!” Liz said to an equally confused Brooke.

Pam and Renay walked into the room at the same time. They walked up to Liz.

“Thank you, guys, so much for the dress!” Liz said to Renay as she hugged her. The others motioned to Renay the okay sign.

“You are welcome!” Renay told her.

Pam quickly caught on to what was going on. Pam, a wealthy personal injury attorney, was good at thinking on her feet. Pam and Natalie had gone to law school together. “I knew that one would be perfect on you! Orange is you!” Pam complimented Liz.

Marilyn approached Liz and said, “Every time I see you, Liz, you wear that dress!”

“I have worn it on every date I went on-

  Monday with the guy who never even noticed when I left the date because he was so absorbed in a baseball game.

  Tuesday with the guy who only talked about his cat. We agreed he better get back to her when he mentioned she is the jealous type. She was cute. Her name was Jasmine.

  Wednesday, with this guy who wanted to mow my lawn, would help me if I ever decided to move, could build a storage shed in my backyard, and wash my car. He also wants to cook me his special marinara sauce.”

“What was his name? I think I went out with him too,” Natalie told Liz.

“Eddie.”

“Yep. He did a great job on my lawn. He edged it better than anyone ever has. I’ve tasted better marinara,” Natalie told the group.

Liz just stared at her, along with the others.

“Liz, I’m kidding!” Natalie said and laughed and laughed.

“Thank God!”

“So, what happened on Thursday?” Natalie wondered.

“I went to Myron’s Steak House, and Adam was there.”

“Was he on a date?”

“When I asked for Alan, the maître d pointed to Adam. So, I just left.”

“Oh man, you didn’t eat there? Their chateaubriand is renowned!” Natalie told her.

“I don’t understand how that happened,” Renay said.

“I do now. Seems like one of my patients saw my profile on Match.com. He told me he was surprised I was on there. I was even more surprised. Then he gave me a lecture on how to attract a nice man. He told me I should change my profile pictures to something less revealing.”

Everyone turned and looked at Marilyn.

“Okay. I made a profile for Liz and put her head on my body!” Marilyn confessed.

Liz started laughing so hard she started crying.

Renay, Pam, Natalie, Brooke, and especially Marilyn were shocked by Liz’s response and started laughing, too.

“Marilyn, I know you meant well, and I want to thank you for the dress, shoes, purse, and makeover. I don’t think I’m ready to date. I’m just going to concentrate on Sam and me,” Liz said sincerely.

“I can’t believe Adam is trying to pass himself off as Alan. Marilyn, didn’t you recognize his online profile?” Natalie inquired.

Marilyn pulled up the dating app. She showed the girls Adam/Alan’s profile.

“That’s a pic I took of him 17 years ago. He superimposed himself at his office!” Liz said incredulously.

“I guess Marilyn’s not the only one with superb Photoshop skills,” Brooke remarked.

Renay noted that Alan had six fingers.

“It says his hobbies include flying helicopters and airplanes, racing cars, collecting fine wine, and visiting exotic islands,” Natalie read.

“I guess that sounds better than farting, drinking, cheating, lying, and being lazy,” Liz reasoned.

“I think most women would choose a James Bond type versus Fart man,” Renay agreed.

“I can’t believe he didn’t recognize Liz’s face or the name, Liz, didn’t register. What a moron!” Natalie stated the obvious.

“He was probably too busy looking at Marilyn’s boobs!” Pam deduced.

“This is why I stay off those sites. I do know some women who met their husbands there. I’m just a magnet for scum,” Brooke told the group.

“Marilyn, will you take my profile down?”

“Already did. I did meet a nice guy at the bank today. I got his number. He’s a rancher,” Marilyn confessed. She handed Liz the phone number. Liz stuck it in her purse.

“Why don’t you go out with him?” Liz asked.

“I’m going to see if I can find that guy’s profile that wants to fix things instead. My fence isn’t looking so hot,” Marilyn said.

“Trust me, hire someone,” Liz said and laughed.

For the next hour and a half, the ladies sat around and giggled over every bad date they had ever had until they had to return to their real problems.

“I need to get home before Sam does. I will see you all next week at our Man Haters Club meeting. This was way more fun than any date,” Liz said.

Chapter 1

The year is 2005 when we happen upon the sprawling grounds of a beautifully manicured and well-maintained property. A large, dignified sign on the lawn is hand-painted with the words Restwood Manor. The retirement home residents are sitting on benches and chairs in the large interior courtyard, chatting away while enjoying the sunshine. They are happy to be where they can peacefully and quietly share the common bond of their senior years.

Then there’s the new guy. He’s 70-year-old Charles Maddox,
Sr., also known as Charlie. He’s of average build, in good health, with short white hair, and always has a slight smile, although some might describe it as a smirk. The thing about Charlie is that he feels he’s already lived a full life. Not that he’s ready to be pushing up daisies, far from it. He’s way too active and shows no signs of slowing down. It’s just that he’s enjoyed a life filled with joy and sadness, success and failure, love and marriage, kids and grandkids, and now feels the job is done, and he’s on overtime. He lost his wife three years ago to cancer. Then his driver’s license when he drove into a tree that didn’t get out of the way. Since then, he feels like he has lost control of his life. Now, he feels like he has lost his freedom since his son, 55-year-old Charles Maddox, Jr, has been trying to place him in retirement homes. But Charlie has managed to successfully get kicked out of every single one he’s been in, so far.

Charlie is sitting on a bench in a hallway with his arms folded defiantly while Charles Jr. stands in front of him, looking down at him. Charles Jr. takes a scolding tone as he hovers over his dad.

“I want you to sit here and don’t move. Can you do that?”
he asks rhetorically. “Don’t run up and down the halls. Don’t play with the lights. Just sit here and behave.”

Charlie looks at his son nonchalantly. “I’m too old to behave.”

Charlie starts to get up, but Charles Jr. puts his hand on
his dad’s shoulder to keep him down.

“Dad, I said for you to stay here.”

“Right, you just go in there and sign the papers, Mr. Legal
Guardian.”

After various incidents involving his car, matches, ladders, and a pellet gun, Charles Jr. was able to get guardianship over his dad.

Charlie continues to snap at his son. “What do you care where I live? I used to be the one who controlled everything. And now? I have no control over my own life.”

“This isn’t easy on any of us, Dad. But if you get kicked out of one more retirement home, I’ll have to put you out on the street. That’s the rule. Got it?”

“That’s what I should have done with you when you were a baby. Besides, you know me, I’m not known for playing by the rules.”

“Promise me you’ll sit here and behave.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Dad, promise me.”

“Okay, I promise.”

Charles Jr. walks off but abruptly stops and thinks that was way too easy. He returns to Charlie. “Let me see your hands,” he demands.

Charlie casually complies and holds his hands straight out.

Charles Jr. looks them over. “No crossing your fingers this time. Now, promise again, Dad.”

Charlie looks straight ahead with a laser stare. Charles Jr. steps into his line of sight and gives him a look. The old man gives in.
“Alright, I already promised!” Satisfied, Charles Jr. walks off.

Charlie folds his arms and maintains his stare. He smiles slyly and mumbles under his breath. “You forgot to check my toes, smarty.”

Charles Jr. steps into the business office of the retirement home.

He takes his place in a chair next to his wife, Elizabeth. She is a couple of years younger than he, dressed well, and is as tightly wound as her husband. She has become tired of dealing with Charlie but lets her husband handle everything involving his dad. At a desk in front of them is Margie, a professionally attired and competent forty-year-old Admissions Director.

Margie greets Charles Jr. as he enters the room. “Welcome
back, Mr. Maddox. I was telling your wife about all the amenities we have here at Restwood Manor.”

Elizabeth chimes in, “This place is amazing, honey. They have so many things for the residents to do to stay busy.”

“I don’t think Dad will have a hard time staying busy.”

“He’s very active, is he?” Margie inquires.

“You could say that,” Charles Jr. says matter-of-factly. “Now, where do we sign?”

Margie glances at the two of them, surprised at their urgency. “Well, I still must show you the rest of the facility. You’re going to love it.” She stands up, but they don’t.

“I’m sure the rest of the place is just as nice,” Charles Jr. offers calmly. “We’re very impressed. Where do I sign?”

Margie asks tentatively, “Are you sure you don’t want to...”

“We’re sure!” Charles Jr. and Elizabeth abruptly exclaim in
unison.

Margie sits back down and reluctantly slides some papers
across the desk.

Charles Jr. signs them quickly.

They finish with the paperwork. Margie sighs, picks up the pages, and meticulously taps them on the desk to align them, then lays them in a neat stack. “Okay, I think we’re all finished here,” she says, smiling at them. “Can I walk you out?”

Elizabeth quickly exclaims, “That’s okay; we know the way.”

“Okay, let’s go,” Charles Jr. adds. As they step out into the hallway, Margie follows them.

In the hallway, Charles Jr. and Elizabeth look around for Charlie and shrug their shoulders at his absence. Margie stands with her back to a plate-glass window and talks to them.

“Your father is going to love it here,” she tells them confidently.

Charles Jr. and Elizabeth look past her through the plate-glass window into the courtyard. They try not to let on as they watch Charlie lining up some of the residents outside while Margie continues talking.
“It’s normal for new residents to feel shy and timid at first, but once they make new friends, they come out of their shells.”

Charles Jr. and Elizabeth can see Charlie teaching the line of residents to do the wave, which they repeatedly do as he walks back and forth in front of them.

Charles Jr. looks at his watch.

“Wow, we’d better get going,” he says hurriedly.

Elizabeth is in just as much of a hurry. “Nice meeting you, Margie. Thank you.”

They scuttle down the hall and leave Margie standing alone.
She looks around and realizes Charlie is not anywhere to be seen. She calls down the hall to Charles Jr. and Elizabeth as they increase their pace. “Do you know where your father...?”

It’s too late. They’ve turned the corner toward the building’s exit doors. Margie turns around and looks out the plate-glass window. She sees the residents doing the wave. Charlie is nowhere to be seen.

Chapter 1

Bobby had been sitting there for a while, just quietly observing the two well-dressed and obviously well-bred women. There was nothing better for him to do at the time, so he just enjoyed the music. Alison Krauss was his absolute favorite. He savored his single malt Scotch and watched the two women, who appeared to be carrying on quite an animated conversation. 

Bobby and Liz went way back. They were classmates in medical school, ending up in New Braunfels, Texas working together at the same hospital. He was not quite as familiar with Natalie, although he recognized her from pictures in the society pages of the local newspaper. He knew she was a lawyer – and he absolutely despised that particular type of “blood-sucking vermin.” Bobby didn’t exactly know what she specialized in, but he assumed it was divorces. Pretty much ALL the good-looking women attorneys specialized in divorce litigation. And these two women were certainly attractive. It wasn’t just the Scotch talking this time.

This was not the first time Bobby had noticed them together at The OutPost. He was starting to get very curious about them. Liz never mentioned that she was meeting Natalie, and he found it peculiar that he had now seen them together not once, but twice. The thought finally dawned on him that maybe this was something more than a mere social meeting. Perhaps, this was business… 

When curiosity finally got the best of him, Bobby decided to saunter over to their table. 

“Hello Liz,” he said. “Fancy seeing you here without Adam.” 

“Good evening, Bobby,” Liz said, not bothering to try to hide her annoyance with him. She turned to Natalie and said, “Natalie, this is Bobby Bain. He is the anesthesiologist that I usually operate with. We also share office space.” Barely looking at him, Liz then said, “Bobby, this is Natalie Brennand,” truly wishing that he would just leave after the quick introduction.

“Glad to make your acquaintance,” he lied. “Sooo… what brings you here, Liz? Is there trouble in paradise?” he asked, while trying to hide his hopeful tone. Bobby had been wishing for nearly twenty years that Liz’s relationship with her husband, Adam, would implode. Bobby had been deeply infatuated with the tall, vivacious blonde from the moment he first set eyes on her during medical school orientation.

“Can’t two friends meet for a drink without SOMEONE starting gossip?” Liz immediately scolded him.

“Well – I see you here talking to a lawyer, so I just thought maybe you and 8 The Man Haters Club 

Adam…” Bobby added optimistically.

“Dr. Bain, I specialize in real estate law – and we aren’t talking shop,” Natalie interjected. “We are just discussing a few things that we have in common.”

“Such as?” Bobby asked, not wanting to change the subject.

“Seriously Bobby, why are you being so annoying? Not that it’s any of your business, but Samantha is down the street getting her hair cut and dyed. Hopefully back to blond, not red. Natalie and I enjoy meeting for drinks whenever we can, which isn’t often because of our kids. In fact, this is only the third time that we have been able to get together in months. Adam has even dubbed it the meeting of ‘The Man Haters Club,’ so you might want to just mosey along,” Liz taunted her meddlesome best friend.

“The Man Haters Club? Really? This sounds intriguing! If the other club members are as good-looking as the two of you, I think I might be interested in joining!” Bobby promptly announced. 

“You are looking at all of the members,” Liz said with a laugh.

“Well, I like what I see!” Bobby said, lecherously. 

“Well, you can’t join. In case you haven’t noticed when you are in the shower, you are of the wrong gender!” Liz retorted.

“Oh, come on, Liz. Let me in! You know you will be glad that you did. I can provide you with secret information from the enemy camp. I can even educate you on how men think.”

“We weren’t aware that they did,” Liz said, interrupting Bobby. 

“And in return, maybe I can even change one or two minds about the males of our species – at least for a night or two. Maybe even three.”

“Are you serious? You want to join our club just so you can have a one-night stand?” Liz snapped.

“No, not at all – not one night. You didn’t hear me… I said maybe even two or three nights!” Bobby said with a sly grin. 

“You are disgusting, Bobby Bain!” Liz said – although she didn’t really feel that way. He lived to push her buttons. The unlikely pair bonded in med school. It took Liz some time, but she eventually realized that Bobby was a good person with certain “idiosyncrasies” that set him apart from the norm. These idiosyncrasies had assured his single status -- probably permanently. 

“So, what’s on the agenda for my first meeting?” Bobby asked, totally ignoring any further objections from Liz or Natalie. “What pressing matters do we need to discuss? Do we have any old business that we need to finish? Do you want me to hold an office? 9 

I don’t think I would be comfortable being president at this point, but maybe vice-president…”

Natalie then reported, “Liz, I wanted to let you know that I had lunch with Brooke Allan just this week. I’m happy to report that she and Giselle Kruse really hit it off, just like I thought they would. Brooke retained Giselle as her attorney, and Giselle was able to get Brooke temporary custody of her kids, until they go to trial. It seems that the new girlfriend/nurse was not overly disappointed that Kevin lost temporary custody after having to take care of three sad kids for two long weeks. Now that his girlfriend has realized that the majority of Kevin’s income will be going for child support and alimony, he is not at all the ‘great catch’ that she once thought he was. 

She has already moved on to a single, never-been-married orthopedic surgeon who is new to town. She even called Brooke and told her that she was sorry that Kevin tricked her. She is going to give a deposition telling how Kevin lied to her about the situation with Brooke. Can you believe it? She is willing to help Brooke in any way that she can. Meanwhile, Kevin has been begging and pleading with Brooke to reconsider the divorce and to take him back, but she is loving just taking care of three kids, not four.”

“So, our first ‘community service project’ was an overwhelming success. Bobby, I’m sure that you are now sufficiently bored with the idea of joining our club,” Liz stated.

“Actually, I’m enjoying this immensely! More than you could possibly know! You have no idea how I do my best to avoid being in the operating room with Kevin. He is a narcissistic asshole, to say the least. His best quality is that he was smart enough to marry Brooke. If you ladies will be kind enough to allow me entrance into your highly selective club, in return, I will be happy to provide free flowing libations at each meeting.”

“We may drink WAY more than you realize, Dr. Bain,” Natalie informed him.

“My offer still stands! In fact, if either one of you has too much to drink, you can count on me to drive you safely home. I can even put you in your jammies and tuck you in!” 

“Oh, brother!” Liz said, while rolling her eyes.

The two women gave each other a “this might be interesting” look, and quickly agreed to the arrangement before Bobby could change his mind -- or they came to their senses.

“I see the vote is unanimous,” Bobby announced, as if he had somehow won a coveted election. He proceeded to flag down the waiter and ordered another round of drinks, so they could seal the deal with a toast.

When the drinks arrived, Liz decided it was a good time to tell Natalie about her initial encounter with Bobby Bain. 10 The Man Haters Club 

“I met Bobby in the first few weeks of med school. Our class was scheduled to assist with free physicals at an off-site, neighborhood clinic. Our instructor suggested that the students should carpool because parking was an issue – there wasn’t enough and it wasn’t at all safe. Once, one of the students came out to find their car sitting on cinder blocks minus tires, rims, and the battery. The school figured with fewer cars there, the fewer the problems there would be. Bobby, who I had never seen before, walked up to me and offered me a ride. I happily accepted, relieved not to be driving my car there. A couple of the other students overheard Bobby when he offered me a ride, so they did not hesitate to ask him for a ride. But he told them, ‘I wish I had room, but I drive a ‘Vette.’ When we reached the parking lot, I quickly realized that his ‘Vette’ had four doors and four cylinders -- it turned out to be a Chevette. I asked him why he didn’t let the others ride along. He said, ‘look at the backseat.’ You know, Natalie, it was full of all kinds of crap. There were old newspapers, magazines, fast food bags, clothes, and many other things that I couldn’t even identify.” 

“Thanks Liz, for ratting me out.” 

“Anytime Bain,” Liz answered back with a grin. 

“Did Liz ever tell you what she was known for in school? Somehow, I bet she skipped that detail…” Bobby then asked Natalie.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be, Bobby?” Liz said, while glaring at him.

“Actually, I’m free the entire evening,” Bobby said, with a wry smile.

“I can’t imagine why…” Liz remarked.

“Where was I??? Oh that’s right, I remember… on the morning of our first anatomy test, guess who comes dragging into class after studying all night, with a black shoe on one foot and a brown shoe on the other? Yes, you are right! New Braunfels’ finest eye surgeon, Dr. Liz Schaeffer!”

“I don’t believe it for a minute!” Natalie emphatically told Bobby. The Liz that Natalie knew was always so impeccably put together – hair, make-up, and clothes.

“It’s actually true,” Liz laughed.

“I can’t decide if you guys are like brother and sister, or an old married couple,” Natalie said, to neither Bobby nor Liz’s amusement.

“I will keep the rest of my Liz stories for the next meeting. Hey, how often do we actually meet?” Bobby asked his fellow members.

“Whenever a man irritates us,” Natalie quickly said.

“That could be daily, just in case you didn’t know, Bobby,” Liz told him.11 

“I’m sure it is. You are married to Adam, after all!” Bobby replied, more than pleased with his witty comeback.

“That’s enough, Bain!” Liz warned him.

“Dr. Bain, we meet whenever we are kid-free. Which isn’t really often... It typically works out to be about every three or four weeks. This is only our third meeting,” Natalie told Bobby.

“I don’t mean to change the subject, but is Brooke still single? I mean, is she okay? Are you sure there isn’t anything else that the club can do for her? I think I may just check in with her and make sure there isn’t something else that she needs,” Bobby said, trying his best to sound sincere and empathetic.

“Why don’t you do that Bobby? That sounds right up your alley,” Liz said, knowing Bobby didn’t need any encouragement from her or anyone else. Nor could anything possibly dissuade him.

“Make sure you two let me know when the next meeting is. See ya,” Bobby said, now more than eager to leave.

“That was really weird,” Natalie said, as soon as Bobby had left and was out of earshot.

“You haven’t seen anything yet,” Liz muttered under her breath.

Chapter 2

Liz was sitting in her office checking her surgery schedule for the week when she heard a knock on her door. Her medical assistant was standing there and said, “Excuse me, Dr. Schaeffer, but there is a gentleman who has asked to see you, but he doesn’t have an appointment. He did ask me to give you this.” She then handed a business card to Liz.

The ivory card had the name Carl Wood, M.D., Doctor of Psychiatry, with an address and phone number from Austin, Texas embossed in gold lettering on the front of it.

“Did he say what he needed?” Liz immediately asked.

“I didn’t ask him,” the young woman replied.

Liz detected a judgmental tone to her assistant’s reply and was now slightly perturbed that this young lady assumed that this doctor was there to evaluate Liz’s mental state. Liz didn’t know if the tone was because she was married to Adam, shared an office with Bobby, or because she thought Liz needed it. Liz would deal with that issue later. She believed that it was vital that she didn’t act mad or give credence to the problem.

“You can bring him back. I will see what he needs.”

Her assistant left without saying another word.

Liz’s mind started to wander, as it often did. She probably had been acting a little different lately. She thought to herself, who wouldn’t? It had only been a couple of months since Adam, her husband of nineteen years, had fired his secretary, whose nickname is Mrs. Piggy. Mrs. Piggy was given this moniker due to her uncanny resemblance to the lovable Muppet character, right down to the heavy baby blue eye shadow. Sadly, that is where any similarities ended. Liz thought Mrs. Piggy was the worst person she had ever encountered in her entire life. Mrs. Piggy had started flirting with Adam while she was still married. When Mrs. Piggy thought she might have a chance with Adam, she walked out on her husband. Adam only cared that Mrs. Piggy ALWAYS agreed with him and NEVER offered any solutions to situations that he posed to her other than what he had already suggested. He didn’t seem the least bit bothered by her lack of boundaries and inappropriate behavior. Liz was getting very frustrated with this new dynamic in her marriage. Adam and Liz had a pretty happy marriage until this unfortunate turn of events. Liz desperately wanted her REAL marriage partner back and never lost hope that Adam would soon snap back to reality and realize what he had to lose.

When Liz later realized that Mrs. Piggy was stalking the whole family, Liz knew she couldn’t wait for Adam to do something. He was too embarrassed by the situation he had created and acted like everyone was making too much fuss over Mrs. Piggy’s antics. His way of pretending that none of this was happening started to frustrate the normally unflappable Liz. She confided to her friends what was happening. They rallied behind her and turned the tables on Mrs. Piggy in the process. They coined a practice that they termed ‘stalking the stalker.’ Leading the group was Liz’s partner in her practice and best friend, Dr. Bobby Bain. Bobby was a good friend to Liz but had trouble concealing that he wished for way more out of their twenty-year friendship. Her friends Natalie, a real estate attorney, and Marilyn, a computer forensic specialist with a questionable background, joined the cause because they were concerned for Liz and her family’s safety. This highly educated group was dubbed “The Man Haters Club.” They met regularly to discuss strategy concerning Mrs. Piggy, have a few drinks, and make fun of Bobby, who had foolishly joined The Man Haters Club to spend more time with members of the opposite sex. 

As time went on, Mrs. Piggy lost more and more touch with the reality of her situation – somehow forgetting the critical fact that Adam was already married and had no actual interest in her. Liz’s biggest concern was that Mrs. Piggy might try to harm their teenage daughter, Sam. The know-it-all fifteen-year-old Sam thought she could hold her own with Mrs. Piggy, worrying Liz even more. So, the group combined efforts to stay a step ahead of the lunatic, Mrs. Piggy. Eventually, the situation came to a resolution. Unfortunately, the bizarreness of the case brought unwanted media attention to the usually private Liz. She was also highly disappointed in the lack of support from her husband while this ordeal was taking place. Liz realized he was embarrassed by his actions, but he now needed to rise to the occasion as far as Liz was concerned. The whole ordeal made Liz suspicious of others’ motives.

She wondered to herself if this Carl Wood person was even really a doctor. Liz’s family found out that the tabloids and the news shows had no boundaries when pursuing a story. A 28-year-old female reporter who looked 38 tried to pass herself off as a sophomore at Sam’s high school by going undercover so that she could ask Sam more details. Adam caught the sanitation worker putting their trash in the cab of his truck. Reporters had offered him forty dollars for the Schaeffer’s trash that consisted of shredded paper, disposable plates, and an extraordinary amount of dog poop.

Liz decided she better find out if Carl Wood was indeed Carl Wood. She quickly searched the Internet for Carl Wood, M.D. Liz located him on the state’s medical board site and found he had no sanctions. A few web pages later, she decided he looked pretty harmless. He was even a graduate of the same medical school that she and Bobby had attended. Dr. Wood had graduated several years before them. 

She minimized the screen just as Dr. Wood entered her office. She stood up to greet him. He had on nice gray dress slacks, with a lighter gray dress shirt and his black loafers looked like they were good quality. He was about 5 feet 10 inches tall and was of average build. She reached out to shake his hand and found it was smoother than hers, and when she glanced down, she saw he had no dirt under his fingernails. He was probably whom he said he was.

“Dr. Schaeffer, I am Carl Wood. I can’t thank you enough for seeing me without an appointment. I am interested in renting space in this building, if possible. The owner of the coffee shop in the lobby told me that you and Robert Bain would be the contacts. I couldn’t find a listing for Mr. Robert Bain, so I contacted you instead.”

“Dr. Bain and I share this office space and co-own the building. He is an anesthesiologist, so his name isn’t on our door. He’s not in right now. Would you like the contact information for Dr. Bain?” Liz asked, wondering why men seemed to prefer to work with other men. Perhaps, Dr. Wood had a jealous wife, or he thought Dr. Bain would have some quality Liz didn’t possess. She realized she couldn’t argue with that one. After all, Bobby was like no other.

“Dr. Schaeffer, I incorrectly assumed that Robert Bain was the leasing agent. I am happy to work with either one of you,” Dr. Wood answered, quickly picking up on Liz’s subtle annoyance with him.

“Then, let me tell you about the space. It’s on the bottom floor. The previous tenant was a psychologist who has since retired. So, maybe you will like what she has done to the place. It is approximately 1200 square feet. Let me grab the key, and I can show it to you if you would like.”

“I would. I see by your diploma that we attended the same medical school,” Dr. Wood said, as he pointed to Liz’s diploma on the wall.

“Yes, I just looked you up. You can’t be too careful these days,” Liz revealed. She then maximized the screen and turned it towards Dr. Wood. An image of Dr. Wood in front of a podium at their former medical school filled the screen.

“That was taken back when I mistakenly thought it was cool to wear a sport coat over a Hawaiian shirt.”

“So that you know. It’s NEVER cool to wear a Hawaiian shirt, except in Hawaii,” Liz said as she flashed Dr. Wood a big smile.

“I wish someone would have given me that fashion advice years ago. When they graduated, the residents did a faculty roast, and they all wore Hawaiian shirts with their sport coats. I was mortified. I have never worn one since.”

“At least you didn’t wear a bowtie.” 

“Is that a fashion faux pas? Oh dear,” Dr. Wood said with a sheepish grin.

“Maybe I need to stop talking and show you the office.”

“I find it refreshing. People are normally so guarded when they know they are talking to a psychiatrist.”

“Maybe I should be,” Liz said with a giggle.

“There is too much laughing going on here!” Bobby said as he entered the room. He seemed startled to see a man sitting across from Liz.

“Bobby Bain, have you ever heard of knocking?” Liz said, rolling her eyes and smiling at Bobby.

“Yes, I have! I think it’s entirely over-rated. What do you think?” Bobby bellowed as he posed the question to the stranger sitting across from Liz.

“The element of surprise can come in handy – if one is trying to catch a cheating lover or check up on a teenager. On the other hand, Dr. Schaeffer might have been trying to surprise you.”

“In that case, I like blondes, a good single-malt scotch, chocolate cake, and those grilled shrimp stuffed with a jalapeño slice and wrapped in bacon. Yummy!” Bobby declared.

“Bobby, this is Dr. Carl Wood. He is interested in looking at the space that is available on the ground floor. I believe I forgot to mention, Dr. Wood is a psychiatrist.”

“As your daughter would say… ‘Oops’!” Bobby said, sticking his hand out to shake Dr. Wood’s.

“Dr. Bain, it is a pleasure to meet you! Dr. Schaeffer and I just realized that we all attended the same medical school. Of course, I went there when it was only a one-room building with an outhouse.”

“Hmm… a shrink with a sense of humor. Most of the ones I know are weird as hell,” Bobby remarked.

“Bobby!” Liz said in a tone that indicated that she had already had enough of Bobby’s contributions to the conversation.

“Liz, for God’s sake, I just gave the guy a compliment,” Bobby said, playing ignorant.

“Thank you, Dr. Bain. I will take it as such. I’m afraid I must agree with you. I have never met a ‘normal’ psychiatrist, either.” Dr. Wood said, trying to diffuse the situation.

“Don’t you remember that strange guy from our class?” Bobby asked.

“The one I share an office with? Bye, Bobby!” Liz said while gently closing the door on him.

“What great camaraderie you two have! It gets lonely practicing by myself,” Dr. Wood said, sounding like he meant that.

“I’m never lonely with Bobby around. He’s the best anesthesiologist around. I guess in your field, that’s not something you ever need. Every once in a while, he’s like a kid who has a little too much candy,” Liz said, trying her best to explain Bobby’s quirkiness.

“Good friends are hard to find nowadays. How long have you two been friends?”

“Since med school.”

“So many people don’t realize how important friends and family are to our overall happiness in life. They think that a Facebook friend has the same value as a childhood friend. People are replacing true intimacy with false intimacy.”

“I completely agree. I am lucky, and I have some terrific friends.” Liz said, thinking back of what great lengths her friends had recently gone to for her and her family. 

A rap on the door interrupted their conversation. Bobby stuck his head in the room. “Come on, Carl. Let me show you around. Liz, you may come along if you like.”

Liz decided she would rather sit this one out.

“So, since I don’t know what Liz went over with you, I will just start from the beginning,” Bobby said, now completely monopolizing the conversation.

“See you two later,” Liz said. She decided just to let Bobby be Bobby. She had enough to do and would use the time to catch up on her work so she could leave today at a reasonable time. Today Liz needed to take her daughter, Sam, for her learner’s permit. Her daughter would not appreciate it if Liz had to reschedule such an important milestone in her life.

“Thank you for your time, Dr. Schaeffer. It was such a pleasure meeting you, and thank you for the much-needed fashion advice,” Carl said and gave her a friendly wink as he left.